I am so tired of not being able to breath because of dust and pollution. Of walking down the street and having no space to walk between parked and oncoming motorbikes. Of stepping in god-knows-what on the street... or even taking in an initially unsuspecting breath of air, then come to realize it's a lung-stabbing, choking cloud of urine fumes. Of being stared at, even laughed at, wherever I go. Of having food poisoning. Of being dirty. Of questioning everything I eat. Of not understanding what people are saying, and them not understanding me. Of not seeing the sun or any kind of natural scene. Even the trees look sad and sickly here: they live off motorbike exhaust and smog light. How could they be happy?
Like I said at the beginning: sometimes... but the status quo has been most times... I just want to wake up 2 weeks before I get to return home, so that I could get on with enjoying what Vietnam has to offer and get on with it. Sometimes I find myself incredibly jealous of friends who are in Europe or Australia because I honestly feel like it would be a vacation compared to this. But then again, I chose Vietnam because I wanted a challenge and because I knew it would be completely foreign. And I got what I signed up for.
I realize I can't keep having this attitude and still be able to enjoy the experience. It has to let up at some point. Mostly, I am having a hard time getting used to the area I live in. But I do have to give myself a break, I've been lying sick in my bed for the past five days, and since we only got to Hanoi two days before that I haven't even had an adequate chance to acquaint myself with the place. I think the things I will like are going on the trips to Ha Long Bay and Sa Pa-- we get to hike while on both trips and we'll be in the countryside, thank goodness, and I really want to go kayaking while in Ha Long Bay!! That would be so great. Going to Cambodia will also be good, I really want to see Angkor Wat. I have also no had the chance yet to even fall into a routine here, since I was sick and had to miss class for a few days. A schedule would be very nice. And my internship-- I'm a university professor (!) at Hanoi Open University, teaching English to freshmen. Haha. So yeah... I just want to be in a schedule and on those trips... and NOT having food poisoning.
I miss fall so much right now. What I would give for a bagel with cream cheese and a hike up Mt. A with my mum and sib, and sunshine, turned leaves and a crisp breeze. And a cozy sweater.
But when else am I going to be in Vietnam? According to Leslie I have a long life ahead of me, and thus many falls to come, so I need not worry... I will be back soon enough, in the fluffy snow and boots and a thick jacket...
Comic relief:
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